Why not begin 2018 with forgiveness? And why not start with us? Forgiveness, like gratitude, is a practice that can be cultivated one moment at a time. Forgiveness is the opposite of indulgence, grounding us, reconnecting us to humility and humanity. In forgiving ourselves, we remember that we are human, subject to causes and conditions. We are not demons. We are not angels. Forgiving ourselves for all we have done or not done due to our pain and fear and delusion is a way for us to soften and open our hearts and minds to reality again. It is also a way to prepare to forgive others. But we can stay with us as long as we like.
It is wise to practice in small moments. When we are quiet, at the end of meditation or in nature or otherwise relaxed, we can say “forgiven” silently, like a mantra or prayer. For a moment or two as we practice this, we may feel ourselves emerge from the cage of our thinking into a warmer, more expansive awareness, an awareness that is connected to life in the present moment. Notice that forgiveness practice is really a gesture of recognizing and accepting our own humanity. It is a gesture of humility, literally returning to the earth.
Not surprisingly, the word “forgive” comes from a word that means to give. To forgive a debt is giving solvency to another—absolving them, pulling them out of debtor’s prison and back into the light of the living. As Charles Dickens tells us, no one ever paid a debt while locked away in debtors’ prison. Why not be free from the prison of the kind of thinking that is divorced from reality, obsessive, repetitive and often just plain mean?
Like many men of his generation, my father was a veteran of World War II. At the conclusion of his funeral, an honor guard fired a Twenty-one Gun Salute. This ritual came from the custom of ships firing off all their guns to show that they came in peace. With no time to reload before they were in range of the shore, the ship was voluntarily defenseless. To ask for and offer forgiveness is to put down arms, daring to show ourselves as we are without defenses. This New Year, may we all dare to put down our guns–to take off our armor. Why not sail into the New Year disarmed and vulnerable? The unknown. The unknown is our own greater potential. May we and all beings be forgiven and peaceful and begin again. ♥